Monday, July 25, 2011

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So how do you climb out of the bottom? Believe me it's a question I keep asking myself. It seems to me that a black cloud hangs over my head no matter what I do. I've been on anti depressives for about 3 months and all I can see they do is instead of laying in bed for 20 hours a day, I'm up that long! I don't sleep as well anymore, but I don't cry as much either, so I guess that's a good thing! Today just seems like a really bad for me. I've applied for so many jobs and nothing. I don't sell enough on my site to make a dent, and Barry's two jobs don't do it either. After getting his social security last week and finally paying the rent, late, but paying, it's almost all gone. I have to pay the phone and electric and we need to eat and use gas in the car---but after that---nothing! Today something small happened and it pushed me over the edge. It may seem small, but when it happened, I felt lost. I put some underwear on that rolled down my tummy. Not only did I put the one pair on, but I tried several. I need to buy some new one's but can't. Can you how this might push someone over the edge? It just left me in tears today about the hopeless of it all. Nothing I do or try to do seems to work.
Oh well, I will try again tomorrow to make a go of it.
Hugs,
P

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